Once upon a time

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Germany-16 years. Alles was bleibt ist die Erinnerung.
" Alcohol tastes better than the thought of you and her "
" I just hope that one day—preferably when we’re both blind drunk—we can talk about it. "
" Ich hab es immer versaut mit meiner Art. Mal weil ich zu ehrlich war und mal weil ich nichts gesagt habe. Mal weil ich zu eifersüchtig war und mal weil mir alles egal war. Mal weil ich meine Gefühle offen gezeigt habe und mal weil ich total verschlossen war. Mal weil ich bei unangemessenen Situationen gelacht habe und mal weil ich nicht mehr konnte und die Tränen rausgelassen habe. Mal weil ich zu anhänglich war und mal weil ich zu abweisend war. Egal was ich tat, ich hab es immer versaut. "
" verteidigst du mich, wenn ihr über mich redet? "
" The most important thing you can give someone is your attention. "
" I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it. "
" Krass was mit der Zeit passiert, wie schnell man den Kontakt verliert.. "
" Thank you.
Thank you for teaching me what it is like to love someone and hate that same person at the same fucking time.
Thank you for causing me to sit on my bathroom floor and cry so much that I wish I would just fucking drown.
Thank you for making me feel alive. I felt things for you that I had never felt about any other person before. The thought of losing you kept me awake at night.
Thank you for being the reason that reality was finally much better than my dreams.
Thank you for cancelling our plans so many times that I found out the true meaning of unreliability.
Thank you for showing me that even perfect people have flaws, the cracks in your apologies showed me that even if I didn’t say, “It’s fine,” you wouldn’t have made any effort to fix what you did anyway.
Thank you for showing me what it’s like to give forgiveness and wish I never had, you got away lightly with every fucking thing you did wrong, I wish I had screamed at you so hard about how much you made my heart hurt but I still wouldn’t be able to leave.
Thank you for pulling me in with your false words, “You’re too nice.” I never knew that someone could be “Too nice.” Maybe you just couldn’t handle someone who didn’t have the courage to speak up, I’m sorry you couldn’t read minds.
Thank you for walking past me in the corridor today, you kept your head down as if you had never stayed up late on the phone to me while you talked about how beautiful the sky looked that night.
Thank you for holding my hand and then never coming near me again, I now know what it’s like to crave something so much it feels like if you don’t have it again you will suffocate.
Thank you for fooling your friends into thinking that you rarely knew me when really I know you more than they do.
I know your secrets, I know how you hate that mark on your ring finger, I know your favourite acoustic song, I know about how you used to collect train tickets, I know the real you. Don’t act like I don’t exist, a smile or an nod of acknowledgement would be enough to make me feel like this whole experience wasn’t a complete waste of my time. I guess I’m just a new addition to your list of strangers who you think don’t understand, but I know you. "
Natürlich können wir befreundet bleiben. Wir können uns auch anzünden.

thebeginningwithyou:

Liebe diesen Spruch.

(Quelle: vorsicht-zerbrechlich, via dunklewahrheit)